† Go to hell for heaven's sake †
If I’m your tumblr crush, send me $50.

(Source: brownnipplebraggadocio)

there’s a little spider in the bathroom, i named it George Washington the II

zodiac sign thing

trisproir:

aries- emo

taurus- weak ass bitch

gemini- ass lovin trash

cancer- water loving son of a bitch

leo- asshole who thinks theyre funny

virgo- pokèmon master

libra- loser nerd

scorpio- swaggy cool kid

sagittarius- shrek worshipper

capricorn- annoying piece of uncool

aquarius- boobie lovin cunt

pisces- bee movie jerk

deverse:

my mom meant to post a picture of her dog and posted a picture of a turkey insteadimage

(Source: catsfirstfeat)

ryannminajj:

to everyone i went to high school with

leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

dulect:

when you’re sitting alone in class

image

image

(Source: mcbitchtits)

disloyals:

ordering pizza online is the best technological advancement since the internet itself